Now be honest answer all the questions before going to the answers!
QUIZ FOR MY VERY BRIGHT FRIENDS
There are only nine questions.
This is a quiz for people who know everything!
I found out in a hurry that I didn't. These are not trick questions.
They are straight questions with straight answers.
1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.
2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?
3 Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year.
What are the only two perennial vegetables?
4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?
5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?
6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ' dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them.
7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?
8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.
9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.'
Answers To Quiz:
1 The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends: Boxing.
2 North American landmark constantly moving backward: Niagara Falls .. The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.
3 Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons: Asparagus and rhubarb.
4 The fruit with its seeds on the outside: Strawberry.
5 How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.
6 Three English words beginning with dw: Dwarf, dwell and dwindle...
7 Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar: Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation mark, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.
8 The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh: Lettuce.
9 Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 'S': Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.
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THE PERFECT MARRIAGE PRICELESS….
For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this e-mail. For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer.
A rerun of great one liner's from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more…
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship
She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas .
3. I take my wife everywhere....
but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said 'There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!' So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, 'In the lake.'
8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, 'Am I too late
for the garbage?' The driver said, 'No, jump in!'
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months
I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, 'What's on the TV?'
I said, 'Dust!'
Ole, the smoothest-talking Norske in the Minnesota National Guard, and a natural born salesman, got called up to active duty.
Ole's first assignment was in a military induction center. Because he was a good talker, they assigned him the duty of advising new recruits about government benefits, especially the GI life insurance, to which they were entitled.
The officer in charge soon noticed that Ole was getting a 99% sign-up rate for the more expensive supplemental form of GI insurance. This was remarkable, because it cost these low-income recruits $30 per month for the higher coverage, compared to what the government was already providing at no charge.
The officer decided he'd sit in the back of the room at the next briefing and observe Ole's sales pitch. Ole stood up before the latest group of inductees and said…"If you haf da normal GI insurans an' yoo go to Afghanistan an' get yourself killed, da governmen' pays yer beneficiary $20,000. If yoo take out da supplemental insurans, vich cost you only t'irty dollars a mont, den da governmen' got ta pay yer beneficiary $200,000!
Now, Ole concluded...
"Vich bunch you tink dey gonna send ta Afghanistan first?”