Navy terms if you have time  it is quite  long

All sailors from the “old salts” to the newly initiated are familiar with the following terms:

Chit: A chit in the Navy refers to any piece of paper from a form to a pass and even currency. According to the Navy history museum, the word chit was carried over from the days of Hindu traders when they used slips of paper called “citthi” for money.

Scuttlebutt: The Navy term for water fountain. The Navy History Museum describes the term as a combination of “scuttle,” to make a hole in the ship’s side causing her to sink, and “butt,” a cask or hogshead used in the days of wooden ships to hold drinking water; thus the term scuttlebutt means a cask with a hole in it.

Crank: The term used to describe a mess deck worker, typically a new transferee assigned to the mess decks while qualifying for regular watch.

Cadillac: This is the term used to describe a mop bucket with wheels and a ringer. When sailors are assigned to cleaning duties, they prefer the luxurious Cadillac over the bucket.

 

Knee-knockers: A knee-knocker refers to the bottom portion of a watertight door’s frame. They are notorious for causing shin injuries and drunken sailors hate them.

Comshaw: The term used when obtaining something outside of official channels or payment, usually by trading or bartering. For example, sailors on a deployed ship got pizza in exchange for doing the laundry of the C-2 Greyhound crew that flew it in.

*Younger sailors may use the term “drug deal” instead of comshaw.

Gear adrift: The term used to describe items that are not properly stowed away. The shoes in this picture would be considered gear adrift. Also sometimes phrased as “gear adrift is a gift.”

Geedunk: The term sailors use for vending machine and junk food.

Snipe: The term used to describe sailors that work below decks, usually those that are assigned to engineering rates, such as Machinists Mates, Boilermen, Enginemen, Hull Technicians, and more.

Airdale: These are sailors assigned to the air wing — everyone from pilots down to the airplane maintenance crew.

Bubble head: The term sailors use to describe submariners.

Gun decking: Filling out a log or form with imaginary data, usually done out of laziness or to satisfy an inspection.

Muster: The term sailors use interchangeably for meeting and roll call.

Turco: The chemical used for washing airplanes.

Pad eye: These are the hook points on a ship’s surface used to tie down airplanes with chains.

Mid-rats: Short for mid rations. The food line open from midnight to 6:00 a.m. that usually consists of leftovers and easy-to-make food like hamburgers, sandwich fixings, and weenies.

Roach coach: The snack or lunch truck that stops by the pier.

Bomb farm: Areas on the ship where aviation ordnancemen men store their bombs.

Nuke it: The term used when a sailor is overthinking a simple task. Here’s how the Navy publication, All Handsdescribes the term:

“The phrase is often used by sailors as a way to say stop over thinking things in the way a nuclear officer might. Don’t dissect everything down to its nuts and bolts. Just stop thinking. But that’s the thing; sailors who are part of the nuclear Navy can’t stop. They have no choice but to nuke it.”

 

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication

you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"
"'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady

replied,"I'm wondering, then, just how serious

is my condition

because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'.."
 
~~~~~~~~~~

An older gentleman was on the operating table

awaiting surgery

and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon,

perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to

speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad , what is it?"
"Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember,

if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me,

your mother is going to come and live

with you and your wife...."
(I LOVE IT!)
~~~~~~~~~~
Aging:
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop

lying about your age and start bragging about it.

This is so true. I love to hear them say

"you don't look that old." 
 ~~~~~~~~~~
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth

waiting in line for. 
 ~~~~~~~~~~
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me!
I want people to know why I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the roads

weren't paved. 
 ~~~~~~~~~~
 When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to

youth, think of Algebra. 
 ~~~~~~~~~~
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that

 it is such a nice change from being young.
~~~~~~~~~~
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. 
~~~~~~~~~~ 
First you forget names, then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper...
it's worse when you forget to pull it down. 
~~~~~~~~~~ 
Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around- 

Walmart when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking

for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where

 I was going."
The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence.

I'm looking for my wife, too...
I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find

her...what does she look like?"
The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 years old, tall, with red hair,

blue eyes, is buxom...wearing no bra, long legs,

and is wearing short shorts.
What does your wife look like?'
To which the old guy says, doesn't matter, let's look for yours."
(ADORABLE)  
~~~~~~~~~~ 
(And this final one especially for me,)
"Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder and

Your hand over my mouth!"
 

Now, if you feel this doesn't apply to you . . ..stick around awhile . . .it will!